I truly believe God blessed me with the perfect family. A mother that would do anything for me. A brother that has always been there to listen. A boyfriend that treats me with the respect and love I show him. And a son that is more than I could have ever imagined, the absolute light of my life. I share a love with my boys that could never possibly be explained with words.
Oh, but on the other hand....it was most definately not intended for me to have friends. I've come to realize though, that I clearly don't need anyone other than my family. Over that past three years, I've become a home-body. I never go anywhere, I never see anyone, I don't even talk to old friends on the phone. I see now though that it doesn't make me near as sad anymore. Some of them hurt me so much when we had our "falling outs" that I don't feel the need to put in effort to somehow "win" their friendship back, above that I def. don't feel the need to waste my time, love, or tears on them. Hell, I don't feel it's my effort that needs to be given, if any ever is. On the rare occasion that I actually do talk to someone..something I say, somefuckinghow blows up into some kind of overly-dramic bullshit. And that..that drama shit...yeah, def. not for me. I for one sure don't enjoy anyone manipulating a situation to make me look like the bad person either. So therefore, I decide to just drift away. From now on, it's literally just me and my boys. And I am perfectly fine with that now & forever. They are the only things that could ever fill a void in my heart, and they're also the only things that ever will..every damn time no matter what. The three of us share a love that will never falter. That's what turns my fucking world round. It feels like a weight is lifted when you truly decide not to care anymore..and oddly enough, it feels utterly amazing.